Monday, April 20, 2009

Powerful Life

Recent conversation with the Head of Admin (HoA) at my company:

Scenario: I received a phone call from an employee who missed a flight and rather than waste time giving him the number of HoA I went across the hall and give HoA my cell phone. I wandered away and came back when they were done talking.

HoA: [looking down at my phone, quietly says]: Is this the picture of your son?
Me: Yes it is
HoA: [looking uncomfortable but concerned/curious]: Why do you keep it on you?
Me: Well you see the thing you want an HONEST answer?
HoA: Yes
Me [choking back tears, and trying very hard to appear and sound normal]: He gives me strength. He gives me a lot of strength. Especially weeks like last week, I continuously look at his picture to give me strength.
HoA [hands back phone]: Ok.

Background: After Azlan passed away, I got visitors from my office. A lot of them came and surprisingly a lot of them cancelled team dinner(s) because they just didn't feel like going after hearing about Azlan. Our director called me after almost a month and said to me he couldn't call earlier because he didn't know what to say. Our MD, my direct boss, didn't call until almost 2 weeks after that. He started by going on about how he didn't know what to say and he felt bad for all the jokes that we used to make. He would regularly make fun of what kind of person Azlan would grow up to be - a philosopher, musician, activist. We can only dream of that now.

HoA, never came, never called, and even when I returned to work he never said a word about Azlan. He's one of the most trusted people at the company but one of the most quiet. He's one of the few people I didn't hold anything against. The first time he mentioned Azlan was more than 11 months after Azlan got his angel wings. It makes me realize once again what a powerful life he was in his short time on this earth.

I am still blown away.

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