Thursday, April 30, 2009

I Don't Like the Numbers Anymore

I now know why I wasn't counting down outloud...if you do that, that one single number just starts flashing through your brain and in front of your eyes, no matter what you're doing.

Its been a while since I looked at Azlan's pictures and felt like I was hit by a hammer right in the center of my chest. I have his picture on my cell phone. I look at it everyday. Its one of the first things I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night as I set my alarm. I was just turning off the mp3 player on my phone and I saw his picture and it just knocked the wind out've me.

I'm becoming more and more short tempered and more and more two faced. On the outside, I'm smiling for everyone. On the inside...on the inside I've become a big black hole.

1 comment:

  1. Sarah,
    Please know that you and your tiny dreamer are in my thoughts and prayers today... I pray that you are able to find some comfort in those around you (and those above you :))I wish I had words to console your aching heart, Happy Birthday Mama, to you.